Tuesday, May 09, 2006

This morning, I woke up and said to myself; "Self" its going to be a great day! So far it hasn't been. Just goes to show that you shouldn't talk to your self . . . and, if you do, Don't answer!


A trip to the Doctors office today was all it took to spoil a good start to my day. I arrived 10 minutes before my appointment time, checked in and proceeded to look for a place to sit. There were plenty of chairs, 15 or 20 of them, all with arms on them.

Not a big deal if you are a specimen of health but when you are my size it becomes a "BIG" deal.

Let me point out that the physician I went to see is a physician that specializes in treating over sized patients or what they like to call the morbidly obese.

(FAT for those without a dictionary).

Hmmmmm......... Fat people and little chairs????

Sounds like a set up for candid camera or cruel humor.

Maybee they think if we stand we will loose some weight while we wait or maybee they think we will move outside to the grass to graize?

It bothers me that in a clinic where 100% of the customers are overweight all of the furniture is intended to fit those who are undernurished and athletically inclined!

I know, you are asking yourself; "what did he do about this situation?"

Well a couple of things crossed my mind.

One, I could force myself into a small chair with arms that was available and wait for it to explode beneath me into many small assorted pieces. If I did this oh, say . . .15 to 20 times maybee they would get the hint and when repurchasing there office furniture in the near future consider chairs without arms or better yet leather sofas!

Hmmm, probably not the best approach.

The second thought that crossed my mind was that I could lean on the receptionists desk and annoy the help so they would get me in sooner or sit on the floor.

Annoying the staff of a place you will make multiple visits to and have to rely on in the future for part of your well being is not a good idea and the problem with sitting on the floor is . . . how in the hell would I get up?

I chose to wait miserably in the lobby standing and shifting my weight from side to side until I was allowed to enter an exam room. Once I am in the exam room, I steal the doctors stool and let the doctor stand. After all they are getting paid and I am paying them.

"What about the exam table?" you might ask. Isn't the patient suppose to sit on the exam table? Yes! They are unless they weigh nearly 500 pounds! You see when a very large man stands on that little step to sit on the exam table, well, the opposite end of the table begins to rise violently. This caused the doctor to throw herself on the rising table in an attempt to save her exam table and the patient from certain injury. Needless to say, I don't get asked to sit on the exam table and those chairs with arms . . . they fit the physician just fine!

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Life is a Journey that we all must travel some of the time with others and some of the time all alone. People, through out our journey, will encourage us to join the masses, become a part of the group! While others will shout from the fringes; "get out of the belly of the beast . . . go it alone". Welcome to my Trip and all the baggage that comes with it :)!